I have lived in these jeans since the day I bought them. Simple, plain, classic and comfortable – you honestly cannot get better than a ripped jean. Unless you don’t really fancy the cold hitting your knees.
If any of you know me, you know I’ve been a lot of things: a waitress, barista, bar tender, student, shop floor assistant, human rights volunteer and now, a dog groomers assistant. Amongst those other things I’ve written short stories that haven’t gone outside the notebook I’ve wrote them in and constructed essays that haven’t left my brain. I consider myself a feminist, engaged in politics, culture, fashion, and definitely consider myself a little bit lost in the world.
I had a conversation with my friend about the routes my life could go and how I’m not sure about which one, and she said ‘you can do anything if you want to’. And there’s so many things I want to do.
I admire people that see a path ahead of them in life and follow it, but I see thousands of paths and dance about in each one to see how it fits and I’m done apologising and beating myself up about it. It’s okay that I lived in Glasgow for 6 months and it’s okay that it didn’t work out. And it’s okay that I’m 23 and have a thousand dreams about who and what I want to be when I grow up. I’m not alone, I’m sure of that.
I’m done with viewing things in binaries – why can’t I be all of the above? Why can’t I have a space where I can be a writer and fashion blogger and photographer? Why can’t I equally be as interested in politics as the shape and cut of a dress on the high street? Why must one negate the other?
So, although I’m saying this is a new venture, it’s really not. I’m just utilising a new space to be myself and I’m not apologising. I’m not apologising for being a little bit lost in life and I’m not apologising for coming out and saying ‘hey, I’m interested in fashion and writing’.
Fashion blogging has always been dismissed as a fickle activity, perhaps due to its association with femininity. I’ve argued with myself in my brain about how materialistic it can be, how others might view me as narcissistic and full of myself. I’ve beat myself up about how perhaps in a few months this will dwindle and be forgotten about. I’ve felt my cheeks burning with embarrassment thinking about asking my friends to take pictures of my outfit. But why?
I’m the kind of person that shies away from opportunities from fear of not being good enough, but this way I get to create my own opportunities. And if it dwindles and fails, it dwindles and fails. And to the people that think this isn’t necessary or that it’s vain – at least I had the gall to give it a try.
So here it is, a fashion and lifestyle blog in the making. I hope I surprise you all by keeping this up. But most of all, I hope I do myself proud and overcome my fears by just pressing ‘post’.